Dear [name of Frenemy],
After reflecting on our [Freudian Term] relationship, I realized that you suck the energy out of me like [2009 vampire protagonist]. My therapist told me to get everything off my chest, so here goes:
Truth is, I never liked being your so called friend. I’m not your personal [pathetic reality TV sidekick]. And it’s no secret that you [past-tense verb] with my best friend as well as our old friends. I’d ask if you were on [prescription drug], but I already know the answer, since you stole it from your [relative].
Of course, there were magical times, but I want to move into 2010 as a healthy, [positive emotion] person.
I do blame you for my [sign of aging] but otherwise no hard feelings. Here’s to making 2010 as drama free as [PBS documentary title].
Love,
[my name]
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